Wednesday, August 13, 2008

Children and Parental Responsibility...

"The lack of emotional security of our American young people is due, I believe, to their isolation from the larger family unit. No two people - no mere father and mother - as I have often said, are enough to provide emotional security for a child. He needs to feel himself one in a world of kinfolk, persons of variety in age and temperament, and yet allied to himself by an
indissoluble bond which he cannot break if he could, for nature has welded him into it before he was born."

~Pearl S. Buck

I could not express my feelings better. Without the support of a large family unit, children will not grow to be successful members of our society. Many people believe that if you submerge your child in the right school or church that, in itself, will shape your child. I believe that the right school and church will only help what you the parent are willing to teach your child.

You are your child's first teacher.

That statement should be presented on a card after delivery. I have certain pet peeves, which I will blog about later, but parents who do not teach there children is right up top. I hope that Scott and I have prepared ourselves to not only love our children but to teach them. I want to prepare them for the world that they are going to experience. Not the ideal world that I hope they could experience. I do not want to shield them in a unrealistic view of society.

Should every child get a trophy at sporting events? No. Every child should know that they did a great job just playing but should not get a trophy. That is for 1st, 2nd and 3rd place. Yes, it will hurt their feelings. Yes, it will require explaining and discussion. But no, just because little Johnny Apple played doesn't mean he deserves a trophy.

I think this is where many young Americans go wrong today. Many of us think we deserve what are parents have NOW. That is just plain nuts. It reminds me of an episode of the Cosby show. Vanessa gets in a situation with her friends because of a painting her mother bought. Vanessa then tells her parents that it is there fault she got into this fight. She said, "because y'all made me rich." And promptly Cliff says, "You are not rich. Your mother and I are rich, you have NOTHING." I totally agree.

J is four. He is still very young but he has an allowance. He does not have to do chores for this allowance. It is simply a gift from us to him. Now, he still is required to do chores but he doesn't get paid for them. He shouldn't get paid for them. He is a part of our family so he should pull his little weight. Yes, he should take his plate to the sink and run water over it. He should make his bed (well, as nice as he can) when he is ready to get up for the day. And yes, he should clean his playroom at night or before we leave somewhere. This is where he has trouble. His excuse is that it is so much to pick up. My response is that we can just put everything that is too hard to pick up away in boxes. If he can't pick up what he gets out then maybe he doesn't need it. Magically his room always gets clean. And he said he couldn't do it.

If you want children to keep their feet on the ground, put some responsibility on their shoulders. ~Abigail Van Buren

Many people say J has to much freedom. Well he has earned what he gets. He also gets things taken away when needs be. He can go into a store with his money and buy him a toy. Though he knows that it must be under $4 or he needs to wait until next week. Hard lessons, I know. But these lessons are better learned now than when he is 28!

Sorry, I know that this was kind of all over the place but had to get it off my mind.

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