Monday, December 15, 2008

Blessing Tree...

At night church yesterday we had what you would call a blessing tree. We were asked to put any blessing that we had experienced from the past year. We immediately I thought of the bundle of energy I was holding was my biggest blessing.

So I went up third to put my blessing. After about 2 more people put them up the worship leader asked Bro. Bobby to read some. They were there for all to read. He read mine second. Everyone let out an ahhh. I thought to myself:

You know self, some people might think I just liked her or was happy to have her. They don't truly understand what we went through to get her here. How much we REALLY wanted her. S can never say that she was an "oops" baby or an "accident". She was not a "pleasant surprise" or a "little souvenir". She was wanted.

It makes me want to share our journey. We had started to think about having another baby when Jack was about 9 months old. We started talking about how nice it would be if we had a summer baby. Scott would have been right out of fire academy. I was still working at Cedar Valley, so it wouldn't have been too hard. Well, no luck. Emily gets pregnant with Isabel. Still trying with no luck. Go to the doctor July 2005 to see if anything was "wrong". Nope nothing wrong. Doc wants us to *try* for another 6 months. Ok, we thought. Maybe it just wasn't the right time.

Well now I will give all the little oh so helpful sayings that we heard while trying: Oh, it just isn't the right time...Oh just get drunk, it worked for this girl in college... Well at least you have one child... You don't need another baby, Jack is perfect... Just relax it will happen when it happens... Don't worry you can always adopt (yes we know and plan on that someday but that wasn't nice to say)

Ok back to the point... So we tried, no luck back to doctor. He gives us one medication to try for 3 months. Then another 3 months...Everything seems to be normal so no medicine this three months. Well some very detailed things go on during this time which result in what was too early to determine what I know it was. Back to doctor then another three months. Then one more set. So you can guess how tired of this we were by then! I mean come on. Maybe we really weren't suppose to have a baby. I forgot to add during this time my sister now has her third baby. So think of the strain on the marriage. Luckily we really do love each other and it just helped make us stronger. So finally we were able to conceive a baby. Now I obsessed with every thing going good. So of course I got many scares along the way. First trimester bleeding. Failed the first glucose test. Need to see the genetic counselor and possibly have an amnio. I had the amnio baby is fine, didn't hurt as much as I thought. So coasting along wondering if she is kicking enough, drinking enough water. I didn't gain much weight but that was normal for my starting weight.

Then finally we had our baby S! It was a blessing! No one in that church will ever really understand what it was for my little blessing but I know. I know it when she smiles at me, when she says mama, when she wrinkles her nose. I know when she wakes up crying in the middle of the night and wants her daddy. When she snuggles perfectly in bed with J, Scott and I. I know what a blessing this child is.

I also know what a blessing J was. It might have been odd at the time. We weren't married for very long. People always counted in their heads to see if we got married because I was pregnant. (BTW no, we were married an entire month before he was conceived!)

So at church a few more people put their blessings on the tree. Then J looks at me and says:

J: I want to go up there
Me: Ok. Do you know what the tree is for?
J: Yes, for what you are thankful for?
M: Ok, we tell me baby, what are you thankful for?
J: I am thankful for my mom and dad!

So matter of fact, no nonsense serious. So as I was tearing up, we walked up there and placed J's blessing on the tree.


Janette said...

Love it! :) I'm thankful you've been blessed with your two children!

Lindsay said...

What a wonderful blessing! I know how much those comments that you had to endure hurt. I hope that maybe next year I'll be able to have the same blessing to be thankful for.